Tag Archives: sunday post

Floating Life

Floating Life: Sunday Thoughts
Olivia of WangGuk

This week has been one of floating. I’m floating currently. I have goals and dreams, but I also don’t really care if none of them work out. Not in a depressing way haha— in a contented completely full kind of way. I would LOVE to see any number of the many dreams I have for my life come true. But I also welcome the idea that none of them may be for me— that my life may actually include a bunch of dreams I haven’t even dreamt yet. Floating, but not aimless.

Having a floating life feels rather free most of the time. But sometimes it can get heavy. It only gets heavy when I start to feel ill-contented. When I start to get anxious, like I need for something to happen. If I remain just simply grateful for whatever happens to be in front of me at the moment, I’m fine. More than fine: I’m not worried about anything in particular. And that’s a good feeling; a state of mind to be envied. Anxiety is a constant battle— a stifling kind of paralysis— one which, if you let it completely take you, is like putting a cup over a match and watching the flame die slowly.

The opposite of complete anxiety is complete Peace. The holy kind. The kind that sweeps like a salty breeze from the ocean through a dusty house. It is hard to let that holy breeze run through you completely and constantly. For most of us it is fleeting and we live simultaneously craving it, but not willing to totally let go of control in order to let it in again.

A floating life is a scary thought for a lot of us, especially those of us (like myself) who have a really difficult time not craving control. But floating is not actually scary. It is, yes, unpredictable, but in being unpredictable, it’s a completely open life. Ready for anything, and accepting of everything. Once a floating attitude is achieved, you’re never really scared or disappointed. You’re just you. Waiting for more of you to evolve and develop, whatever that includes. Floating, but not aimless. Waiting, but not anxious. Anticipatory, but not specifically expectant. Content, but ready for any challenge.

Sunday Vibes

Sunday Vibes
Kingdom Thoughts Sundays
Olivia of WangGuk

Some 80s music I don’t really like is playing. I’m slowly drinking an iced flat white. I’m checking my instagram on someone else’s wifi. I’m listening in to another GREAT DTLA coffee shop conversation. The bench is plushy and leather and now, since I bought something, I get to sit here however long I want. There’s a good book resting next to me that’s gonna get read real soon. I told my whole house I’d be gone for hours doing personal errands so no one’s going to call or text me wondering what I’m doing or where I am. In fact, I won’t have to talk to people for HOURS.
This is a day in my life. And honestly, this day’s looking pretty great. Some of my friends who took an office or corporate job straight out of school sometimes ask me if it’s hard having an irregular schedule/paycheck/no benefits/no predictability. And I always tell them the same thing: no, it’s not hard. Yes, it is inconvenient or somewhat stressful sometimes not knowing how much money I’m going to make in a month. And yes, sometimes I think about if something horrific happened to me and I couldn’t go to the hospital because I have no traditional benefits to cover it. Yes, some things about my kind of a life can be unsettling or stressful.
But here’s a few thoughts: I’m kind of the master of my own schedule. I don’t answer to anyone but God. I don’t have a boss— I am my boss. I don’t really worry about money or benefits because God is my money and His faithfulness and protection are my benefits (and truthfully, those are the only real ones that a human can actually have). Am I’m not trying to sound super Christianese or stupid or reckless— I’m being serious. No one truly has any security but His. And I really do think of my life that way. If God allows me to fall into some kind of awful accident and I have to be hospitalized, well then He obviously has some way of taking care of me in that. I don’t tend to think of things past that. I’m not scared.
Life can really be whatever you want it to be. I’m living proof. I work when I want to, as much as I want to (which is usually a lot because I actually love working), and every single one of my jobs is something I really enjoy doing. And I’m okay. No, of course not all of my days are spent like this one, blogging at a coffee shop and reading for hours. Most of my days are spent hunting for treasures for the shop, teaching, tutoring, and respite caring. But I get to choose when I do each of those many great activities.
Make choices that cause your life to be exactly what you need it to be. Make your days worth living. Just my two cents.